Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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