If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
