Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
