Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
