i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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