if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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