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Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Randomize
