I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
