4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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