Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize