U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
