Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I look better un-naked...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
