I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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