This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
