my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
