it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
