Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
