I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
