Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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