he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
