I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm just crazy horny about you
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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