dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We are all done wearing pants today
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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