On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
When did we convert life to cartoon?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
