Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
