You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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