im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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