come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
