Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
