Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
