shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
