I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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