i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize