That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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