The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
i think i just lost a toe
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
