I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
