I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
3pm strippers are depressing
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
