I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i want to swaddle you in tequila
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
