Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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