You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Alive.
So much puke
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize