so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
