Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
smell my finger.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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