high people should be assigned attendants
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
