I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
