the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
