Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
