i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
