It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize