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the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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