What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
