Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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