so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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