erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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