Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
