ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
