oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
