operation harelip BJ is a go
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
tequila makes me forget i have legs
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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