I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
