she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
