he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize