You surviving the open bar?
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and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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