hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
