Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
