dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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