Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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