I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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