gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think I won the penis lottery.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize