Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
