I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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