Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
