so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Randomize