don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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