are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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