Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
