Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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