I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Randomize
