she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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