He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
