You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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