I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Randomize
