I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
