Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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