I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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