I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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